Settling into Oxford: Culture Shock, Identity and Adaptation

Bukola Oloyede, a BCL student, offers an honest, humorous reflection on navigating culture shock as an African student at Oxford, grappling with accents, grey skies, early dinners, and identity while learning to adapt, thrive, and laugh.

Before I arrived in Oxford, I spent months imagining what life here would be like. I pictured grand adventures, exciting moments and, of course, an avalanche of reading lists and essay deadlines. What I didn’t expect, however, were the baffling little moments that would upend my carefully crafted expectations- They call it culture shock.

It’s something many international students, especially those of us from Africa, are familiar with in theory.

But no amount of preparation truly captures the reality of it. My first week in Oxford felt like a rollercoaster of confusion, surprise, amusement, and the occasional “what on earth is going on?”

Accents and Politeness: The British Way?

Let’s start with the accents. Half the time, I have no clue what people are saying, and the other half, they’re struggling to understand me too. Communication now feels like a game of charades. My only saving grace is that my professors seem to have mastered the art of speaking slowly and clearly. And surprisingly, I’ve caught myself unconsciously switching accents without even trying. Still not sure if that’s a survival skill or the beginning of an identity crisis.

Then, there’s the small talk and the marathon in politeness and modesty. The first time I attended a formal dinner, I thought I would lose my mind. Two whole hours of small talk. Two! I mean, I get it. People love discussing the weather, but does talking about it actually make it any better?

“Oh, the weather today was rather dreadful, wasn’t it?”

- “Yes, quite dreadful indeed!”

And yet, there I am, nodding, smiling, and engaging in a full-on conversation about how “chilly” two degrees Celsius feels.

That said, I’ve genuinely grown to appreciate just how polite everyone is. I once witnessed a woman bump into a chair and then apologize to it. I’m not even exaggerating, (and no, I did not imagine it!)

Then what about those fleeting, blink-and-you-miss-it smiles? At first, I thought I was imagining them until I saw it happen more than once. Even now, I’m still unsure whether to return the smile or simply ignore it and mind my own business. Turns out those smiles are part of the culture: an unspoken Hey, I acknowledge your existence, but let’s not talk about it.

Oh, and here’s a big surprise: I can actually call people by their first names without feeling like I’m lacking home training. Interesting!

Grey Skies and Blue Hearts: Adapting to Oxford Weather

Now, let’s talk about the weather. So you probably know this already: winter here is not for the weak. My first real shock came when I saw people casually walking in the rain without umbrellas. Of course, there’s hardly a heavy downpour but back home when it rains, we see it as the universe’s way of telling us to cancel plans and take a little break from life. Here? Life goes on as if those tiny, irritating droplets (I don’t mean it, God) don’t matter. And don’t even get me started on the cold. I have become a human onion with layers upon layers of clothing each day, literally. Yet somehow, I’m still cold. The lack of sunlight can be pretty depressing (I think they call it seasonal affective disorder). It’s real. But hey, it’s spring now, and everyone is happy. I guess.

New Flavours and the Longing for Nigerian Food

I arrived in Oxford with little worries about missing Nigerian food. I had even indicated my excitement about exploring local cuisines in my application. You want to know how that is going? Well… so-so.

To be fair, college food at Univ is pretty decent, and I often look forward to grabbing delicious brunch at the buttery on weekends. I call it my little weekend delight and reward for surviving the week. I also discovered an Asian restaurant at the Covered Market that serves amazing dishes. But on days when my stomach longs for home, I do some cooking. But let me just say, if I see another lifeless sandwich, I might cry.

One of my biggest adjustments has been dinner time. Back home, we have dinner between 7 and 9 PM. Here? People dine at 5PM. I mean, I appreciate the push towards healthier habits, but I can’t just get my mind around having dinner at such an early hour.

Also, how come nobody told me about drinking tap water? Like many college rooms in Oxford, I’ve got a sink with a little sign that indicates “Drinking water”. On my first day, I told myself no way I’m drinking that. But guess who’s been surviving on that very same tap water?

Nigerian Markets and British Malls

I never thought I’d say this, but I actually miss Nigerian markets. The chaos, the price haggling, and the way traders grab your hand to insist you need a tuber of yam you never asked for.

But here, walking into an H&M or Primark store, browsing to my heart’s content, and exiting the store without getting harassed for not buying anything? Pure bliss. Alhough part of me misses the drama. Additionally, how come nobody told me walking would become my new lifestyle. I go shopping and haul grocery bags like a struggling weightlifter. If you don’t own a bicycle, you sure can relate.

The Academic Shift

As you’d expect, the academic culture in Oxford is intense: rigorous, fast-paced, and requiring lots of independent thinking. Unlike back home where lecturers do most of the talking, here you’re expected to voice your thoughts, regardless of how clumsy or unstructured they might be.

As someone who processes quietly, I found this quite unusual and challenging at first. But over time, I found myself raising my hand voluntarily, and surprisingly, my thoughts have been making sense so far. Growth!

Indeed, Oxford has been a whirlwind of strange, amusing, and sometimes frustrating experiences, but each one is transforming me in ways I didn’t expect, building my resilience and adaptability.

So, culture shock? Absolutely. But would I do it all over again? In a heartbeat.